Pregnancy Discomfort-O-Meter

Here is my week by week break down of how I felt throughout this pregnancy...

Week 5-6
Thoughts: "Wow, this is pregnancy! This is NOTHING!  I feel exactly the same.  This is great!"
Discomfort Level: 0 (0 being: no discomfort and 10 being: I want to kill myself)

Week 7-11
Thoughts: "Wow this is pregnancy!?!? I feel so nauseous and bloated and sleepy and bleh"
Discomfort Level: 5ish

Week 12-25
Thoughts: "Wow this is pregnancy!!! I feel energized and happy and awesome all around.  It's like I am not even pregnant but instead on a constant caffeine buzz"
Discomfort Level: 0-1 (1 when I am on my feet shopping for more than 3 hours)

Week 26-28
Thoughts: "Wow this stomach thing is really starting to grow now.  It's sort of getting in my way of putting on socks.  Man, sleeping is getting interesting since it isn't so easy to turn from side-to-side anymore.  Is this what it's going to feel like for the rest of the time?"
Discomfort Level: 6ish

Week 29-32
Thoughts: "Wow, I guess you can really get used to anything.  New position for putting on socks: check. New position for sleeping: check.  Less walking and in smaller heels: check.  I think it's actually getting easier!"
Discomfort Level: 5ish

Week 33-34
Thoughts: "OK, I spoke too soon.  This isn't all that easy and getting ppppretttyyy heavy.  I feel like I am lugging around a bowling ball in my uterus.  It sort of reminds me when you're hiking and your whole body starts to get sore after hours and hours of uphill climbing but you know the end is near so it almost feels natural"
Discomfort Level: 6.5-7ish


I have yet to reach week 35, but based on what I hear from others:  you basically want to kill yourself once you reach month nine.

If my calculations are correct, you pretty much spend about half of your pregnancy feeling great and the other half feeling like sh*t.  So in reality, pregnancy isn't REALLY nine (or like some claim, ten) months but more like 4-5.  You know what I say: suck it up! It will all be worth it in the end because you will soon have a kid to do all those chores you hate to do yourself.

Epidural

I have somewhat mixed feelings on the topic.

On the one hand, it almost seems ridiculous to NOT have pain relief if it is offered.  That's the beauty of modern western medicine - we no longer have to suffer through childbirth like in the good 'ol days.  My thoughts about it can be summed up in a quote I heard recently, "I don't get a root canal without novocaine, so why deliver without an epidural."

On the other hand, is the sadomasochist in me who is curious to see just how much pain I can handle.  I don't think I have ever had to endure terrible physical pain but judging by the fact that I scream in agony when I get a leg cramp, I doubt I will get too far without some drugs.  The other beauty of going natural is not having to worry about all the side effects of the epidural.  While they are likely minimal, people love sharing their epidural horror stories making it appear much worse than it is.

I asked my mom what the level of pain is (during childbirth) and she said, "first it's like really bad cramps and then towards the end it feels like someone is ripping off all your limbs one by one."  I don't think I've lost any limbs recently, but I would imagine that it's pretty painful.   A friend of mine wanted to comfort me recently so she compared giving birth to getting a bikini wax.  She said, "How bad can it be?  If we can handle waxing, we can definitely handle this!"  It's cute how she thinks that having a 7 or 8 pound person come out of you is equivalent to getting a few hairs pulled.

For those of you staying on top of my weight gain, I am now +28 lbs at 33 weeks.  Looks like I will end up at the high end of the recommended 25-35 lb weight gain but at this point I could care less and I am enjoying my cake - and eating it too!

32 Weeks!

How is it possible that I am going to get bigger??!?! 8 more weeks to go!  That's like a lifetime.

Newly Single

I woke up this morning feeling the snugness of my wedding/engagement rings.  Like all pregnant women, I knew this day would come.  The water retention and stubby fingers phase is finally here.   I haven't taken off my rings since the day we got married - not even when I sleep or shower.  In fact, I don't remove any of my jewelry (watch, necklace, earrings) so I tend to get very attached to it.  I was sitting on the edge of the bed and saying goodbye to my gorgeous engagement ring when it dawned on me that it will now appear like I am single.  This idea struck me as funny so I decided to share it with Gene.  It wasn't just sharing, I actually said, "Now that I won't have a wedding band on, all the single men will probably be all over me. Doesn't that scare you?"  At this point he proceeded to laugh (a little too hard) and reassure me that all the men will in fact be lining up to get my digits.  He's so sweet....even when he's lying.

Baby Brain

They say that mothers-to-be tend to become pretty scatterbrained in the last months of their pregnancy.  I had no clue what that even meant....until last week.  It was a beautiful Friday afternoon and I was coming back from my doctor's appointment when I spotted a package on my stoop.  The UPS or FedEx guys tend to leave stuff on my front porch if no one is home in our apartment or the apartment above us.  Usually, I would pick up the package and (like any normal person) see who it is addressed to before deciding what should be done.  Not today.  I picked up the box and carried it inside, as if I am the only person who lives in our building.  It never even occurred to me that this might be for someone else.  OK, you're probably thinking...that's stupid but....it happens.  After opening the package, I stare at the 'bugaboo Bee Graco car seat adapter' for a good few minutes.  It would be at this point that one should think, "Let me check the label on this since I probably picked up someone else's package."  Oh no, that's not what happens.  I start to get angry at some unknown company for sending me the wrong item.  In my head I am already arguing with customer service reps for making a stupid error.  After digging through the package and not finding a shipping slip, I am even more frustrated.  For some strange reason (not due to logic) I decide to look at the label on the box to see if maybe that will give me some indication of what is happening here.  Sure enough, I see the address label and the name of my upstairs neighbor.  Ooops.  I proceed to write a 3 page long apology note for ripping through her package and wish her luck with her new baby.

Gene's Corner:
(after telling him the above story)
"Umm, remind me to not let you pick up our luggage off the conveyor belt when we travel"

Approaching month 8!

I just returned from the doctor and was relieved to see that I only put on 2 lbs in the last 3 weeks.  It seems like I am finally done putting on weight like it's going out of style.

This week also marks a point in the pregnancy that now requires me to see my doctor every two weeks.  While I dread having to sit in his waiting room more often, I am excited because this is signaling that the end is near.  Speaking of waiting rooms...there were two women there chatting, and one said to the other, "I have been so bored, so when I was 39 weeks, I put the crib together."  This really blew me away mostly because I don't think I would even bother attempting the assembly in a non-pregnant state, but doing it at 39 weeks is just pure madness. I should also mention that the woman was probably about three times my size and looked....well....let's just say she looked like she meant business.

Getting to the doctor has also gotten a bit tougher.  Gene was surprised that I still walked the one mile to the office, but the usual 15 minute walk probably took a good 25 minutes.  I was on the phone with Gene the whole time, who kept telling me I am walking too fast.  He's so cute.

On the way home from the office I was talking to my grandma who said that now is the time to start taking things a bit easier and not over exert myself.  While that advice sounds solid, I have been more active than ever running from one store to the next buying all sorts of cute little baby stuff.  I catch myself shopping (and being on my feet) for hours before I realize that I am about to pass out.  Who knew this baby stuff was so much fun!

Buying stuff at Buy Buy Baby!

Gene and I spent pretty much the entire Saturday in Paramus NJ and LOVED every minute of it.  Let me explain.  We were in Buy Buy Baby with our 'gun' in hand, registering for all the baby stuff we will need in the first few months. I have to say it was a LOT of fun to test and compare all the different products. We even bought our first big purchase- a crib!

I didn't think we would be one of those gullible first time parents that bought everything organic and pretty much picked out the most expensive item regardless of what it was.  Turns our we are those suckers after all.  This morning on the way to work I told Gene that I will try to stop by Daffy's to buy some clothing and his response was, "Don't buy anything that isn't organic.  I don't want my daughter wearing crap."   It was very cute, but also made me realize that I created a monster. Sigh.

In other news, my weight gain has slowed down significantly but my stomach keeps growing at warp speed.  Sometimes, I look in the mirror, and think, "who is that fatty looking back?"   Pregnancy is a crazy crazy thing and little Baby Klayman is running out of room to kick so she has resorted to trying to stretch out, which makes my stomach appear deformed and quite scary.

Gene's Corner:
Gene thinks it's cute to make a beeping noise when he catches me walking backwards.