Wednesday, June 22, 2011

One temper tantrum: coming right up!

On a typical weekday evening, Violet picks me up from the train station (usually accompanied by the nanny) and we either head home via Cobble Hill Park (where she steals toys from other toddlers and eats a little sand) or do a little grocery shopping at Trader Joe's (TJ's).  I am a big fan of going to TJ's and getting fresh produce for dinner or at least a fresh baguette and some milk.  Violet on the other hand seems to hate shopping for food and she makes it very clear that she is NOT a fan.  Walking through the isles is doable because she usually gets distracted by all the shoppers smiling and commenting on the cute baby.  She rides proudly in her stroller and says hi to everyone along the way.  When her 'hi' goes unnoticed she makes sure to repeat it louder and louder until the poor soul has to greet Violet and pretend that they are fond of babies.  After the shopping portion is complete, we get on line.  If you aren't familiar with TJ's, here is what their line usually looks like:

Yes, this is an actual picture of a line at TJ's.  This is when our trip takes a turn for the worse.  Violet becomes   bored and begins to yell at the top of her lungs.  Now, you might be picturing a crying baby, right? No. This is nothing like a cry, but more like a high pitched scream that will shake you to your core.  The entire supermarket stops in amazement and stares at Violet who is focusing intently on creating the loudest scream possible.  After their shock subsides, the next natural thing for them to do is to glare at the mother (yup, that's me) who is clearly unable to keep her one year old in check.  Don't get me wrong, I would love to tell Violet that what she's doing is inappropriate but her vocabulary is currently limited to cat and hi.  I do my best impression of a concerned mother trying to convince her child that instead of yelling, she should whisper.  I don't waste much time and quickly turn to the next logical solution: snacks.  I hand Violet a few cut up grapes and that usually buys me a  minute or two until the next series of screams.  When it's finally our turn to pay, the cashier knows the drill way too well and begins to distract Violet by making funny faces.  Violet's face softens and her expression changes. Her face now says, "Cashier lady, I am on to you. I know you're trying to make me laugh and I will do it, but just this one time. You better keep up your little shtick or I will continue to terrorize the public".  I pay and exhale the breath I was probably holding the last five minutes.  The rational part of me says, "why the hell do you keep going there?" but the sadomasochist in me says, "there's no better way to spend a weekday evening".  Once we are outside and the stroller is moving Violet is happy as a clam and we continue on our journey home.  Usually the rest of the trip goes smoothly but yesterday Violet set off the alarm in our elevator and when the nice lady came on the speaker system asking how she can assist us in this emergency, I had to explain that my one year old accidentally pressed the alarm button and I didn't know how to shut it off.  If this is any indication of what the terrible two's are like.....bring it on!

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