Hardest Decision Yet

There were tons of tough times after becoming a new mom;  the sleepless nights in the first few weeks, the crying after getting her shots, the times she absolutely refused to eat for hours.  All these things were nothing in comparison to the day I realized I NEED a nanny.  After returning to work on June 30th, I thought I could be superwoman and balance it all.  My thought process was simple: the baby sleeps at least 5-6 hours during the day which is when I can do my work and whatever doesn't get done I can do late at night.  Seems simple enough.  Unfortunately, the one fatal flaw in this plan was that I have no control over when the baby sleeps and of course Violet made sure NOT to sleep during my conference calls.  Not only did she not sleep, but she also decided that she will keep me on my toes by crying for no particular reason.  So three weeks into my return, I finally caved in and started to look for a nanny.
I called an agency and the very same day they had me on the phone with four women looking for work.  After the initial conversations I set up 3 of them with in-person interviews.  They all seemed fine but one stood out a bit more than the rest.  She was a soft spoken woman probably my mother's age who is a pianist by profession and is currently continuing her education at some music school in the city.  She wanted to work 3-4 days a week and focus on her music the remainder of the time.  Her references (all three of them) were solid (not stellar) and the agency assured me she was a good choice and she has been with them for quite some time.  They didn't vouch for any of the other women, so my choice was somewhat clear: either I hire this woman or I keep looking.    I decided to hire her but immediately began to look online for nanny cams.  They have some pretty cool stuff now-a-days.  The camera we got is actually implanted in a digital photo frame and  will stream the video over the web so I can keep an eye on my little bundle when I am at work.  Does this extra security make me feel better?  Not really.  I am still very nervous and anxious to leave Violet with someone other than me.  It's a feeling only a mom can understand.