My grandma was an OB/GYN in Russia for over 40 years. In fact, she was the one that delivered me 29 23 years ago. She was always very proud of the fact that she was the very first person to hold me. Back then they didn't have all this fancy testing and equipment so everything was done 'old school' style. Since there were no ultrasounds, my grandma would feel her way around the stomach to see where the baby was and whether or not that was the right location based on the duration of the pregnancy. She was also known for being quite strict and yelling at her patients if they gained too much weight. That worked so well with my mom that she only gained 17 lbs when she was pregnant with me (22 with my brother).
I came to visit her recently and what ensued was pretty funny.
Me: Hi Grandma!
Grandma: Oh my god! What is that? (pointing at the bulge in my midsection)
Me: Umm, what do you mean? I am showing!
Grandma: Hahahahahahahaha. Hahahahahaha. Hahahahaha. You're not showing!
Me: Ummm, well my stomach is bigger and I am pregnant, so I think I am.
Gradma: Let's go examine you.
Me: OK
She starts by pressing around my bellybutton area with quite a bit of force. After a few seconds she locates the baby just above the pelvic bone.
Grandma: Aha, there it is!
Me: Wow, that's so low.
Grandma: Around 4.5 months, the baby should be at the same level as your belly button.
Me: So what's all this weight in my midsection?
Grandma proceeds to grab two handfuls of my midsection and looks at me while grinning.
Me: Fat?
Grandma: What else!
No comments:
Post a Comment